Dentists repair shattered shards of self

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Dentists repair shattered shards of self
November 3, 2007
By RHONDA CHRISS LOKEMAN
KansasCity.com

Picking up the pieces of a life shattered by domestic violence sometimes means actually picking up the pieces.

Things like broken teeth. Hair pulled out by the roots from being dragged across a room. It means collecting shards of self like broken glass scattered across linoleum after a kitchen brawl.

Unlike emotional abuse, equally devastating but more easily concealed, physical abuse cannot stay hidden long. It gets out in the open eventually, especially since cosmetic surgery is nowhere on the list of new-life priorities. Things like food, clothing, shelter, child care, employment and medical insurance are.

Besides, even when survivors can fool the world, they cannot fool themselves. Abuse then becomes self-perpetuating. Some women look in mirrors and see a battered wreck instead of a survivor. In their minds, no one would want them because of how they look. Long after victims have survived abusers, these signs can haunt like PoeÌs tell-tale heart.

No matter what people say, appearance does matter. It matters so much that along with women victimized by abusers who lost control are women who are deliberately disfigured by jealous partners.

Women who have lived through violence sometimes find their appearance limiting or repulsive. Mothers skip parent-teacher conferences and ballgames rather than expose a row of chipped enamel to scrutiny. Some women avoid job interviews. They fear that a spontaneous laugh would expose a jack-oÌ-lantern grin.

Smiling may be recommended for job interviews, but try smiling through dental pain. Instead, such people mumble, slouch and avoid eye contact. They exhibit nonverbal cues that potential employers find off-putting, no matter how good the resume.

People have missed job opportunities that could have moved them far from their abusers, and allowed them to become more self-sufficient and also better caregivers.

But there is some good news. Three cheers for the Wisconsin-based American Academy of Cosmetic Dentistry and member professionals who volunteer to do free dental work for abuse victims.

In 1999, the dental organizationÌs charitable foundation launched the Give Back a Smile Program. Since then, more than 6,000 dentists, lab technicians and other dental professionals have helped 600 abuse survivors. They have also provided free of charge $5 million in dental work.

Ross Headley, an Overland Park dentist, has seen five such patients since 1999 and is working with a sixth. At no cost to qualifying patients, he has done crowns, bridges, partial dentures and worked with oral surgeons who have also defrayed costs.

ÏThere have been women who have come in who have had their teeth broken and teeth that have been gone for a long time,Ó Headley said. ÏLike anybody, if you have an unattractive smile, you are self-conscious. You donÌt feel good about yourself.Ó

Headley has seen the national programÌs motto, ÓRestore a smile, restore a life,Ó personified in his pro bono patients, all women.

ÏTheyÌve all told me how much of a difference this has made for them. I even had one woman who since has started a kind of not-for-profit foundation to help women get their lives back on track,Ó he said.

He feels richly rewarded, too. ÏI guess I am giving someone their self-esteem back, giving them some hope and hopefully making them feel good about themselves,Ó he said. ÏThis program is a good one because you get to give back to the real world. ItÌs not all about making money.Ó

ItÌs about giving people hope for a better future by restoring smiles that became casualties of private wars.